Bullying can be complex, both as an issue and as a topic. Today we're answering four of your most asked questions about bullying.
1. WHY DO SOME KIDS BULLY?
Students bully for various reasons, and it's often a complex interplay of individual, social, and environmental factors. Some common reasons include:
- Seeking Power and Attention: Some students bully others to feel powerful and in control. Others do it as they enjoy the attention from other students or want to establish their social status at school.
- Lack of Awareness or Education: Some students may engage in bullying without knowing what it is and the harm they're causing.
- Peer Pressure: Students may bully others to fit in with a particular group or to avoid becoming a target themselves.
- Lack of Empathy: Some kids have difficulty empathising with others' feelings. They may not fully understand the impact of their words and actions on people around them.
- Issues at Home: Bullying can stem from problems or stressors at home. Those experiencing abuse, neglect, or domestic violence may act out by bullying others. Research found that the prospects of bullying behaviour rose in relation with the frequency and severity of abuse in their home.
- Seeking revenge and retaliation: Study shows students who have experienced bullying often take revenge on their former perpetrators through cyberbullying as it's an easy, non-confrontational way to get back at them.
2. DOES BULLYING AFFECT ONLY THE VICTIM?
No. Bullying has harmful effects, not only on the victim, but also on the bully, and the bystander.
Victims of bullying are at an increased risk for mental health issues like depression and anxiety. They may develop physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach pains, or sleeping problems. They may be afraid to go to school, have trouble concentrating and poor academic performance. They can also engage in different activities to escape the reality like running away, alcohol and drug abuse and, in serious cases, suicide. They are also at risk for becoming bullies.
Bystanders may feel guilty and powerless (for not intervening to stop the incident or diffuse the situation). They may also fear that their environment is unsafe, or they may be the next target. This increases the possibility for them to develop depression and anxiety problems, abuse drugs and alcohol, and miss school.
Bullies are more likely to engage in other problematic behaviours and drop out from school. As an adult, those who have bullied are at increased risk to commit crimes (one study found that those bullied other in middle school were four times more likely to have been convicted of three or more criminal acts than those who didn't) and being abusive toward their romantic partners and children.
3. DO PARENTS PLAY A ROLE IN BULLYING?
Yes. Parents can play a significant role in either preventing or contributing to bullying behaviours in their children in the following ways.
- Parenting Style: Authoritative or permissive parenting styles, where there's either too much control or too little guidance, can contribute to a lack of empathy and poor social skills in children, potentially leading to bullying behaviour.
- Modelling Behaviour: Children often copy their parents' behaviour. If parents are aggressive or disrespectful in their interactions with others, children may mimic them without fully understanding their consequences.
- Beliefs and Attitudes towards Others: Parents' attitudes and beliefs about people from different racial, cultural or socioeconomic backgrounds can influence their children's. Children may learn to discriminate and bullying those perceived as "different" if they learn from their parents those "differences" are negative.
- Monitoring and Supervision: Students who bully often have parents who are not very involved in their children’s lives, who lack warmth and positive involvement. By monitoring their children's interactions and being aware of any signs of bullying or aggression, parents can intervene early and address problematic behaviours.
- Addressing Issues at Home: Family problems such as conflict, abuse, or neglect can contribute to a child's likelihood of engaging in bullying behaviours. Parents can help reduce the risk by addressing and resolving these issues through therapy, counselling, or other support services.
4. WHAT ARE SOME STRATEGIES FOR DEALING WITH A BULLY?
Dealing with a bully can be challenging, but there are several strategies you can use to address the situation effectively.
- Stay Calm and Set Boundaries: Bullies often target individuals they perceive as vulnerable or easily upset. Try your best to remain calm and composed when dealing with a bully.
Clearly and assertively communicate to the bully that their behaviour is not okay and that you will not tolerate it and they need to STOP, while maintaining eye contact with them. - Ignore and Walk Away: Bullies often thrive on attention. By ignoring and denying them the reaction they seek, you may discourage further harassment.
- Report the Bullying: Report it to a teacher, school counsellor, or another authority figure. Show them a record of any instances of bullying, including dates, times, locations, and details of what occurred. Report the incident to eSafety if the bully happens online.
- Practice Self-Defense: Consider enrolling in a self-defense class to learn techniques for protecting yourself physically if necessary. However, always avoiding physical confrontation whenever possible by removing yourself from the situation the moment it escalates.
- Seek Support: Ask for advice and support from friends, family members, teachers, or other trusted adults. If you're struggling to cope with the effects of bullying, talk to our qualified counsellors - they will offer strategies to manage stress, build confidence, and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Our support line is open 24/7, just call 0488 881 033 or visit dollysdream.org.au/what-we-do/support-line to WebChat.
Remember
If you are concerned about a child or young person, please seek help.
Speak to a trusted GP, school wellbeing staff, or a helpline such as:
Dolly’s Dream Support Line 0488 881 033
Parentline in your state or territory
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800
Headspace 1800 650 890
Lifeline 13 11 14
