Supporting young people when faced with difficult news and challenging times

Headlines reporting the tragic stories of a young person’s suicide linked in some way to bullying (physical, verbal, or online) have become regrettably common. There's so much pain and suffering associated with each of these events, affecting individuals, families, communities and our society as a whole and resulting in an increasing national outcry to “do something” about the problem of bullying and suicide. 

In an era where news travels faster than ever and access to information is at our fingertips, young people are increasingly exposed to distressing events and challenging stories. Whether they see it in their news feeds online or something that has occurred in their school community or friendship group, it’s vital that they are given the space, support, and understanding needed to process what they’re seeing and feeling in their own time.  

We spoke to our Dolly’s Dream Advisory Board member and clinical psychologist Dr Charlotte Keating and Kate Everett, Dolly’s mum. 

When we talk about a young person who has taken their life, it is more often in the context of a mental illness”, says Dr Keating, “whether they may have experienced depression, or experience thoughts and feelings that are overwhelming, and a sense of not being able to escape the pain of those feelings and thoughts. Bullying can also be linked to this sense of ‘When will it stop? When will it end?’ Young people can feel overwhelmed, and not feel there’s another way to solve the problem.”

“Approaching a difficult conversation about a tragedy, with calm non-judgemental language, can help your kids or young people feel that they can open up and share about their experience. It’s not uncommon for young people to feel a strong emotional response to suicide, particularly of a young person, even when they may not have been especially close to the person too.”

“It is important that it is not a once off conversation, that you check back in periodically to understand how they’re feeling”, says Dr Keating, “a young person may want to come back and talk about aspects of it, or you might notice that they seem a bit down, and that may be a valuable moment to check-in again.  

Dr Keating advises, “During a time like this, your young person may have greater emotional needs and there are ways that you can help them process and manage those emotions. Sitting and listening to their experiences or confusion, creating that space to ask open ended questions to help them express themselves, but also doing other things that help them to cope. Helping them to engage in soothing activities, activities that can reduce stress, or distracting themselves for a time, can be helpful. Whether it be yoga, running, hitting a punching bag, walking gently, sitting by the ocean if that’s feasible. And of course, the basics for coping during difficult or distressing times: Sleeping well, making sure they're still socialising with friends, nourishing themselves well – checking in on the usual wellbeing pillars is really valuable too.” 

Kate Everett said, 

“It is often swept under the carpet and not acknowledged to kids in a clear way that they can understand. One of the things I remember talking about is that suicide is really complex and it's really awful. I don't believe that often young people want to die. I think they want the hurt to stop. We need to support parents to be able to talk to their children.”

If you need advice and support, we are here for you. You don't have to deal with this alone.