Sextortion: How to talk to your kids about it

It’s when someone threatens to share sexual images or videos of a person unless they meet certain demands - often for money, further sexual content, or other actions.

Increasingly, children and young people, especially young males, are targeted through social media, gaming platforms, or messaging apps.

While this is a confronting topic, talking openly with your child about sextortion can help them:

• Recognise warning signs
• Know where to get help
• Feel safe telling you if something ever happens to them.

• If your child understands what sextortion is and how it happens, they’re more likely to avoid risky situations online.
• Talking about tough topics tells your child: you can come to me with anything.
• Victims of sextortion often feel intense shame or fear of getting in trouble. When children know their parents won’t judge or blame them, they’re more likely to reach out for help quickly.

1. Pick the right time and setting

Choose a relaxed moment when you’re both comfortable – like during a car ride, cooking dinner together, or going for a walk. These side-by-side moments often feel less intense than a formal sit-down.

2. Keep your tone calm and non-judgmental

If your kid feels you’re angry, shocked, or about to punish them, they’re less likely to be honest.

3. Use real-world examples (but avoid fear tactics)

You can refer to recent news stories or general examples without overwhelming them with scary details. Explain that this is something that can happen to anyone, no matter how smart or careful they are.

4. Make it clear they won't be in trouble

Children need to know that if they ever experience sextortion, your priority will be their safety and not punishment. Reassure them that you’ll face it together.

If you’re not sure how to begin, here are some phrases that can help open the door:

• "I read recently about something called sextortion - have you heard of it?"
• "Do you know how some people online pretend to be someone they’re not? Sometimes they use that to trick people into sending photos or videos."
• "If someone ever made you feel uncomfortable or threatened online, what do you think you’d do? Who would you tell?"
• "No matter what happens, I want you to know you can always come to me - even if you think you might be in trouble."
• "What do you think are good ways to protect your privacy when you’re online or chatting with people in games?"

These shouldn’t be used as one-off questions but instead use them as part of ongoing conversations with your child.

Over time, your child will learn that talking about online safety is just a normal part of life.

Here are some key safety tips you can discuss:

• Be careful with what you share online - once an image or video leaves your device, you lose control of where it goes.
• Don’t accept friend or follow requests from people you don’t know in real life.
• Be wary of people who rush a friendship or relationship online - this can be a sign of grooming.
• If someone asks for sexual images or videos, or tries to pressure you in any way, stop the conversation immediately and tell a trusted adult.

If your child ever tells you they’ve been targeted, remember: the first thing they need is your reassurance.

Stay calm, tell them it’s not their fault and let them know you’ll help them through it.

Practical steps to take:

• Stop all contact with the person.
• Save all evidence (messages, screenshots, usernames).
• Report the incident to the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation (ACCCE) or if the intimate image or video has been shared you can report it to the eSafety Commissioner, who can help get harmful content removed and provide support.
• Contact the police if threats have been made or if your child is in immediate danger.

Talking about sextortion with your child gives them the tools and confidence to navigate the online world safely.

By starting early, listening without judgement, and showing them, you’ll stand by them no matter what, you’re creating the kind of trust that could make all the difference in a crisis.

If you or your child need advice or someone to talk to you can call our confidential Bullying Support Line: 13 DOLLY.

And for more useful resources download our Beacon Cyber Safety app, it’s your handy guide on how to keep children safe online.