My Friend's Being Bullied, What Should I Do?

Seeing someone get bullied sucks. Being bullied is already hard enough, but when people watch it happen and say nothing? That can hurt even more.

• When you witness bullying, you’re a bystander.
  When you choose to do something, you become an upstander.

And here’s the good news: helping someone else is actually good for your own mental health, too. Yep, science backs it!

Being an upstander doesn’t mean putting yourself in danger or starting drama. There are heaps of ways to step in safely:

Easy ways to be an upstander

• Show it’s not okay
  A simple head shake or “that’s not cool” can shut things down faster than you think.
• Break the moment
  Jump in with something random like: “Hey Sophie, I’ve been looking for you.”
• Create an exit
  Give them a way out: “Hey, come help me for a sec.” or “The teacher’s looking for you.”
• Check in privately
  Let them know you saw it and they’re not alone: “That wasn’t okay. Are you alright?” or “Do you want help with this?”
• Call it out (if it feels safe)
  You don’t need a big speech.  It can be as simple as calling it out and saying something like: “We don’t do that here.”
• Tell a trusted adult or service
  You’re not dobbing, you’re protecting someone. If you can, report it together. Having backup makes a tough situation feel less lonely.

This a totally fair question, but research from Kids Helpline tells us that:

• Just watching bullying happen can mess with your head — increasing stress, anxiety and low mood.
• Doing nothing can knock your confidence and make the future feel pretty bleak.
• But people who step in actually report better self-esteem, stronger mental health and more hope.

And, even better, being an upstander is contagious! Once one person speaks up, others usually follow. It creates a ripple effect.

So no, being an upstander doesn't usually put a target on your back, it instead sends a clear message that bullying isn't welcome here. And that's how we change the culture of bullying.

You don’t have to handle this alone. Call 13 DOLLY for free, confidential support from people who get it. Or if you don't like phone calls, you can use the webchat option instead.