Signs You Might be the Bully

If you’re reading this, you’re already taking a brave step by checking in with yourself.

This guide isn’t here to shame you. It’s here to help you spot unkind behaviour, understand why it hurts others, and make positive changes. 

Jokes are only jokes if everyone thinks they’re funny. 

If someone looks uncomfortable, goes quiet, or asks you to stop and you keep going – that’s not banter, it’s hurtful. 

Why it’s hurtful:  

Being teased over and over can make someone feel embarrassed, insecure, or like they’re not welcome in the group. 

If you’ve shared rumours, private screenshots or made fun of someone in group chats, that can be a form of bullying – even if you thought it was “just the ground messing around”. 

Ask yourself: would you say it if they were standing right there? 

Why it’s hurtful: 

It breaks trust and can make someone feel exposed or embarrassed. 

Sometimes groups pick on one person because ‘everyone is doing it’. 

But if you’re joining in when someone gets excluded, mocked, or targeted online or at school – that’s bullying, even if you weren’t the one who started it. 

Why it’s hurtful: 

When multiple people target someone, it can feel overwhelming and impossible to escape and can make them feel alone and scared. 

If you’ve sent something mean, threatening, or pressuring someone to do something they don’t want to – that’s crossing a line. 

Why it’s hurtful: 

Online messages can be reread and shared, making the impact last much longer. 

You don’t have to be friends with everyone but excluding someone to make them feel bad is bullying behaviour. 

Why it’s hurtful: 

Being left out on purpose tells someone ‘you don’t belong’, which can crush their confidence. 

If part of you feels guilty or want to make excuses (you might be thinking “it’s not that deep”) that might be a sign you’ve hurt someone – even if you didn’t mean to. 

Why that matters: 

Dismissing someone’s feelings can make the impact worse and stop you from growing. 

Here’s the important part: 

Real strength isn’t about putting people down. It’s about lifting people up. 

If you recognise yourself in any of these signs, you can change starting today. Try: 

• Say sorry, and mean it! 

• Give people space 

• Think before you message or joke 

• Check how your actions impact others 

• Asking for help if you act this way because you are stressed, struggling or confused. 

Becoming a kinder version of yourself is something to be proud of.