What Is Indirect Bullying?

Indirect bullying is mostly behind a person's back or hard to prove.   

It's a form of bullying that’s subtle and often hidden. It’s designed to hurt someone without confronting them directly and can make you feel like you're 'getting worked up over nothing'.   

It can include:  

• Excluding someone from a group or activity 

• Spreading rumours or gossip 

• Giving the silent treatment 

• Manipulating friendships (e.g. telling others not to be friends with someone)

• Mocking or mimicking someone behind their back  

This kind of bullying can happen in person or online. It’s often used to isolate a person and damage their reputation or sense of belonging - without ever saying a cruel word to their face.  

1. If it's just started happening or it's only happened a few times

Try and sort it out early on. Be calm, polite and curious. Say:

"I've noticed x behaviour. What's going on?"

Listens to understand why they did it. Say:

"How can we put this behind us and move forward?"

If they don't want that to happen, you can set a boundary.

Why it works

• Sometimes friends communicate in ways that aren't ok. You can reset things by being upfront and using assertive communication.
• Calling out behaviour also shows you're not going to just put up with it and let them treat you badly - and they won't get away with it.
• If they're a true friend, they'll listen and you'll work it out.

2. If it's been happening a while now, and/or it keeps happening

• Keep a record. Write down what they're doing and how often. This shows a pattern of behaviour (bullying).
• Report it to an adult you trust and keep reporting it until it stops.
• Build social relationships with others who aren't part of that group - and look after your mental health!

Why it works

People who behave in this way try to look 'innocent' and don't want to get caught - so don't keep it a secret!

Don't let them get away with it. Take your power back by exposing it.

Their behaviour is also designed to make you feel bad about yourself and doubt yourself - so make sure you look after your wellbeing and stick with people who are kind to you.

If you need help you can always speak to someone from the Dolly's Dream Bullying Support Line. Over the phone, or through webchat.

They're there to listen and help you with next steps to put a stop to bullying. 

You are not alone.

Speak Even If Your Voice Shakes.